question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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