Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
