sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
