wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
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He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
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Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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