Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
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Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
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I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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