Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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