eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in