It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...