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Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
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