Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life