Texts From Last Night

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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?

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  (970): Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet? http://tfl.nu/tasx
  Replies (3) Good night (1529) Bad night (435) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"

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  (814): he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career" http://tfl.nu/95bq
  Replies (14) Good night (1026) Bad night (2523) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.

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  (248): brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing. http://tfl.nu/ysyr
  Replies (10) Good night (4387) Bad night (589) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!

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  (781): yours is so small it looks like an acorn!! http://tfl.nu/y1ac
  Replies (23) Good night (508) Bad night (4425) Order T-Shirt
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  (559): View more from California

  I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?

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  (559): I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day? http://tfl.nu/b9nt
  Replies (182) Good night (21076) Bad night (2632) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name

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  (860): so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name http://tfl.nu/f3l4
  Replies (26) Good night (672) Bad night (8466) Order T-Shirt
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.

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  (270): The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned. http://tfl.nu/9j2r
  Replies (30) Good night (5092) Bad night (3330)
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  (909): View more from California

  Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?

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  (909): Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs? http://tfl.nu/r8li
  Replies (15) Good night (1189) Bad night (5122) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.

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  (717): I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both. http://tfl.nu/vzdh
  Replies (4) Good night (884) Bad night (1984) Order T-Shirt
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL

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  (260): THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL http://tfl.nu/le0h
  Replies (6) Good night (2949) Bad night (597) Order T-Shirt
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.

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  (870): It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis. http://tfl.nu/5xg0
  Replies (5) Good night (1814) Bad night (1134) Order T-Shirt
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.

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  (972): I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in. http://tfl.nu/6wlf
  Replies (16) Good night (889) Bad night (1746) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...

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  (401): All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage... http://tfl.nu/w66w
  Replies (3) Good night (1064) Bad night (439) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.

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  (403): You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything. http://tfl.nu/58f8
  Replies (1) Good night (1200) Bad night (250) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.

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  (760): I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite. http://tfl.nu/b3g6
  Replies (1) Good night (1174) Bad night (532) Order T-Shirt

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