You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.