Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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