yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
