don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
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Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
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