Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
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i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
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