thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize