Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize