So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
