Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
