I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
