Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Holy sore nipples Batman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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