Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
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