hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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