There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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