Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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