Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
