well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
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Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You ate ashes out of my bong
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this