I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You need a sexual gate keeper
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
