dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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