TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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