I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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