Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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