If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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