After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
