I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm at about main and main street
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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