Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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