then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
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just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
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Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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