Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.