I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
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there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
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No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.