ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I have fence marks all over my body
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?