THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on