i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?