how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?