Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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