I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
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I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
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I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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