Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
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Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
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The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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