And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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