just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
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