after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize