I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
