I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I need water and some morals
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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