Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
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Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
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Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.