I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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