the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
