He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
