id be glad to
I cockslap morals
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
