We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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