And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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