I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize